2013년 11월 24일 일요일

About 'define bad debt'|...local levels to establish what we want to define as liberal and/or progressive. Second, we need to...without God. Many Christians are bad with god. So it's up to us to find out how...







About 'define bad debt'|...local levels to establish what we want to define as liberal and/or progressive. Second, we need to...without God. Many Christians are bad with god. So it's up to us to find out how...








Two               online               dictionaries               define               "gift"               as               "something               given               voluntarily               without               payment               in               return,               as               to               show               favor               toward               someone,               honor               an               occasion,"               and               "something               given               to               show               friendship,               affection,               support,               etc."               And               it's               the               terms               "show               favor,"               "honor",               and               "show               friendship,               affection"               that               I               believe               many               people               completely               miss               during               the               rush-rush               of               holiday               gift-giving.

Let               me               explain               what               a               gift               is               not               about:
               •               It               is               NOT               about               how               cheaply               you               can               bargain               for               something               at               a               yard               sale;
               •               It               is               NOT               about               how               much               (or               little)               money               you               can               spend               on               something               ridiculous;
               •               It               is               NOT               about               going               through               your               closets               and               selecting               something               you               no               longer               have               use               for;
               •               It               is               NOT               about               going               into               debt               and               making               yourself               financially               uncomfortable               in               order               to               do               what               you               feel               is               expected;               and
               •               It               is               NOT               about               giving               some               cast-off               trinket               in               the               hopes               of               getting               an               expensive               gift               card               in               return.
               If               you               have               done               any               of               the               above,               you               need               to               STOP               immediately               and               take               a               good               look               at               what               a               gift               really               is.

By               its               very               definition,               a               gift               is               meant               to               show               favor               and/or               honor,               or               to               show               friendship               and               affection.

In               thinking               this               notion               through,               then,               a               gift               is               actually               a               message               which               you               wish               to               impart               to               the               recipient               of               a               gift.

In               other               words,               if               the               message               you               wish               to               relay               is               "you               are               special               to               me,               I               appreciate               your               presence               in               my               life,"               you               must               ask               yourself,               "Am               I               conveying               this               message               with               this               gift?"               Let               me               give               some               real-life               examples               of               BAD               gifting.
               Bad               Gifting
               Once               upon               a               time,               I               had               a               mother-in-law               who               worked               for               a               major               department               store.

In               fact,               it               was               a               store               that               did               not               carry               plus-sizes               (which               I               have               worn               since               elementary               school).

When               the               store               would               have               end-of-season               mark-downs,               Dot               would               gather               loads               of               potential               gifts,               and               with               her               30%               discount,               she               might               purchase               a               sweater               for               $2,               or               a               skirt               for               $1.50.

What               a               bargain!

Except               that               (a)               they               were               NEVER               in               my               size,               and               (b)               they               could               not               be               returned               since               they'd               been               bought               on               clearance               and               with               her               employee               discount.

So               Christmas               time               would               find               beautiful,               exquisitely               wrapped               packages               under               the               tree,               looking               as               if               the               name               on               the               gift               tag               really               were               someone               special               to               Dot.

Once               opened,               however,               a               Size               6               skirt               for               a               Size               26               backside               became               just               a               bit               of               trash.

What               was               the               message               I               got               from               Dot?

"You               are               fat,               and               trash               to               me."
               Dot               could               have               purchased               a               $2               marked-down               pretty               platter               or               a               set               of               napkins               or               placemats               or               even               a               pretty               hair               clip               or               earrings.

But               she               didn't               work               in               the               platter               or               hair               clip               departments,               she               worked               in               the               Junior               department.

So               she               bought               her               unappreciative               queen-sized               daughter-in-law               junior-sized               clothing.

In               essence,               she               bought               me               trash.

Dot               was               a               bad               gifter               because               she               bought               gifts               that               didn't               fit               and               couldn't               be               used               or               returned.
               Then               there's               Cindy,               a               friend               who               once               stated               with               pride               that               she               was               on               her               fourth               "Charity               card"               only               half-way               through               the               year.

That               meant               she               had               spent               several               hundred               dollars               at               a               non-profit               donations-only               thrift               store.

For               each               $200               she               spent,               she               would               get               $20               in               free               (used)               merchandise.

Now,               shopping               the               consignment               or               thrift               type               stores               is               a               personal               choice,               and               those               kinds               of               places               CAN               be               the               source               for               finding               great               bargains...

books               by               your               favorite               author               for               a               quarter,               or               neat               lamps               or               home               décor               for               just               a               little               bit               of               cash.

I               can               appreciate               finding               those               kinds               of               items               and               purchasing               them               for               myself.

But               again,               buying               clothes               for               a               plus-sized               woman?

Not               so               much.

In               the               first               place,               I               am               a               bit               funny               about               wearing               some               of               those               clothes               because               they               often               have               a               strange               odor               that               I               find               off-putting               (not               to               mention               my               bug               phobia).

But               more               than               that,               as               a               large               and               lovely               woman,               I               have               learned               that               I               must               TRY               ON               any               and               every               article               of               clothing.

Some               Size               22's               fit,               some               don't.

Some               things               hang               well,               others               don't.

Some               things               would               work               on               my               "inverted               square"               body               type               that               absolutely               would               not               work               on               a               pear-shape               body               type               and               vice               versa.

And               while               Cindy               prided               herself               on               her               thrift               store               shopping,               she               was               quite               free               to               ASK               for               a               $50               gift               card               (yes,               she               was               that               specific)               from               a               local               home               improvement               store.

Now               think               about               this               for               a               moment:               the               same               year               she               requested               FROM               me               a               $50               gift               card               (cost:               $50)               from               Home               Depot               (she               so               needed               it               to               pick               up               little               things               for               her               new               home),               she               gave               TO               me               a               set               of               four               yard-sale               mugs               and               a               thrift               store               Weight               Watchers               cookbook               (cost:               $3).

The               message               to               me:               "I               want               what               I               want               from               you               and               I               want               to               give               you               things               others               have               thrown               away               (trash)."
               Cindy               had               other               gifting               tricks,               as               well.

You               see,               she               was               a               housekeeper               for               a               local               artist.

Whenever               she'd               spy               an               easel               or               a               broken               bird               cage               in               the               garbage,               she's               rescue               them               for               presents!

The               artist               had               been               disgusted               with               her               painting               and               thrown               it               away,               but               Cindy               would               wrap               it               up               and               put               a               bow               on               it               for               you.

The               homeowner               had               discarded               a               broken               bird               cage,               but               Cindy               would               gather               a               stem               of               silk               greenery               and               a               votive               and               give               them               to               you               as               a               patio               decoration.

Cindy               was               the               worst               kind               of               bad               gifter--she               had               no               conscience               about               asking               for               GREAT               gifts               from               you               and               in               turn               gave               you               trash               you               couldn't               use.
               Good               Gifting
               One               of               the               very               best               gift-givers               I               have               ever               known               is               my               daughter,               Dana!

What               makes               her               gifts               so               special?

Because               she               puts               real               thought               into               the               likes               and               personality               of               the               receiver.

For               example,               she               knows               that               I               love               the               water--the               ocean               and               beaches,               lakes               and               streams.

Not               only               have               I               taken               beachy               vacations               for               years,               but               most               of               the               pictures               in               my               home               have               water,               they               may               depict               ocean               waves               or               the               lakeshore,               but               they               all               have               water.

So               I               receive               a               new               mousepad               with               a               beach               scene               or               a               coffee               mug               with               an               ocean               scene-a               close-at-hand,               daily               reminder               of               something               I               love.

Those               are               wonderful               gifts               that               say               to               me,               "What's               important               to               you               is               important               to               me."               Those               are               the               kinds               of               gifts               that               make               me               feel               special               because               she               took               the               time               and               energy               to               figure               out               and               then               FIND               something               that               she               knew               would               make               me               smile.

And               those               items               make               me               smile               day               after               day,               year               after               year,               because               each               time               I               use               them,               I               am               reminded               again               of               her               love               and               affection.

That               daily               reminder               embodies               the               very               essence               of               a               "gift."
               How               to               Become               a               Good               Gifter
               So,               okay,               you               realize               you're               a               terrible               gift-giver-and               you               want               to               change               that.

(Hooray!)               There               are               several               ways               to               begin.

First,               make               a               list               of               those               on               whom               you               wish               to               bestow               gifts.

Beside               the               name               of               each               person,               make               a               note               of               their               traits,               their               likes,               anything               about               them               that               you               know               is               uniquely               them-you               know,               what               differentiates               them               from               the               crowd.

Once               you               have               determined               what               you               can               afford,               then               spend               some               time               ruminating               about               the               kinds               of               gifts               within               your               budget               that               would               be               likely               to               please               THEM.
               Another               way               to               become               a               good               gifter               is               to               ask               people               to               make               a               list               of               several               items               they               would               enjoy               receiving               as               a               gift.

This               is               a               great               way               that               my               daughter               and               I               have               learned               to               be               sure               we               get               each               other               things               we               enjoy,               and               yet               maintain               the               surprise               of               the               exact               gifts.

Let               me               explain.

My               list               might               contain               things               like               pretty               writing               paper/stationery,               nail               polish               in               pinks               and               reds,               books               by               certain               authors,               specialty               chocolates               and               coffees,               clean               burning               candles,               etc.

It               might               also               include               a               single               "big"               item               like               a               tool               box               or               foot               spa.

Her               list               might               include               art               supplies               (easel,               canvas,               paints,               brushes),               tennis               shoes,               clothes,               gas               or               phone               gift               cards.

The               lists               are               broad               enough               that,               obviously,               we're               not               going               to               purchase               everything               on               each               other's               list.

But               selecting               items               from               the               list               ensures               that               the               receiver               is               given               items               that               they               will               enjoy               using.
               Broke               and               Can't               Afford               a               Gift
               There               are               few               people               who               don't               understand               being               "so               broke               you               can't               pay               attention."               Whatever               the               reason               your               budget               simply               cannot               provide               for               gift               giving,               if               you're               broke,               you're               broke.

It's               not               a               matter               of               shame,               it's               just               a               matter               of               fact,               and               it               doesn't               make               you               a               bad               person.

What               it               means               is               that               you               should               be               a               responsible               and               realistic               person.

I               have               found               the               best               way               to               deal               with               this               issue               is               to               be               upfront               and               positive,               and               simply               say               far               in               advance               of               the               gift-giving               season,               "My               budget               is               stressed               and               depressed,               so               instead               of               giving               gifts,               let's               share               some               time               together               this               year."               I've               never               had               anyone               express               disappointment;               I               have               had               people               agree               that               they,               too,               were               struggling               with               budget               issues               and               eliminating               the               gift               expectation               was               a               relief.

Most               often               I've               been               told,               "I               just               want               to               see               you,               a               gift               is               not               important."               For               the               budget               challenged,               here's               one               big               comfort:               the               gift               of               friendship,               love               and               openness               is               much               welcome;               a               poorly               picked               tacky               gift               is               an               insult               that               causes               pain.

So               don't               make               that               mistake.
               Summary
               Here's               the               bottom-line               rule               of               thumb               for               gift-giving:               WHAT               IS               THE               MESSAGE               YOU               ARE               IMPARTING               TO               THE               RECIPIENT?

If               the               message               is               not               one               of               honor,               affection,               friendship               and               support,               do               NOT               give               the               gift.

Instead,               write               a               note               telling               the               recipient               how               much               they               mean               to               you.

I               guarantee               that               simple               gesture               will               be               much               better               received               than               the               gift               of               someone               else's               trash.






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